Mutant Girls Gone Wild
by Red Witch
Summary: Sequel to Hanging Out At The Hood House. What were the girls up to while the boys were away? Everything!
1. Angry Girls Make The Best BBQ

**Someone ran off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. Wow, can you believe this is the third story already? I mean I just started with a simple one shot and now there's a whole series! Well here it is, third in the series. First there was Insults in Cartoon Form. Then Hanging out at the Hood House. And now, part three…find out what went on with the girls during all the insanity of the second story in the third story! **

**Mutant Girls Gone Wild **

**Chapter One: Angry Girls Make The Best Barbecue**.

**KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"Hell doth have no fury like a woman scorned," Hank McCoy sighed as his lab shook with the vibrations of the explosions outside. Even in his well protected and heavily fortified laboratory, the effects of the rampaging females outside the lab could still be felt.

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"Or for that matter, a teenage mutant girl that is extremely **ticked off**," Hank rolled his eyes. "Why oh why didn't the Professor retain creative control when he let them make that stupid cartoon?"

Suddenly to his horror the door on his lab opened. "Jamie!" He gasped as the youngest resident of Mutant Manor ran inside.

"You gotta hide me!" Jamie said. "I can't pretend to be dumb and cute forever!"

"How did you get in? I locked the door!" Hank gasped.

"Beast the code is 36-24-36," Jamie gave him a look. "It's the numbers in one of your favorite songs that you play nonstop when you're in one of your Oldies Moods! A monkey could figure it out!"

"Brick House by the Commodores is a wonderful song that expresses the beauty of a full formed female," Hank bristled.

"Yeah well don't mention that to the females that live **here,**" Jaime told him as he locked the door. "They're ticked off enough as it is!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOM! BOOOOOOOOM!**

"You have a valid point," Hank gulped. "That bad huh?"

"Are you kidding? They just chased of the rest of the guys!" Jamie said. "We're the only ones left!"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

"And I am **not** going back out there," Jamie said.

"Oh this is ridiculous!" Hank was frustrated. "I am the adult here! The only one left after all the others fled the coop. Someone has to be responsible and handle the situation. What kind of X-Man would I be if I just hid in my lab like a frightened…"

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! **

"On the other hand, perhaps this is one of those times those girls should deal with their problems themselves," Hank gulped. "And I really do have a lot of projects I should take care of."

"Need any help?" Jamie asked.

Outside on the mansion's lawn the girls were enjoying themselves. "You know Tabitha when you suggested burning the guys in effigy I admit I wasn't exactly sure this was the way to go," Jean remarked. "But now that I've actually done it and set fire to what was left of Scott's car, I do feel better."

"I've always felt fire was rather cathartic," Tabitha grinned.

"That does explain why you get along with Amara so well," Rogue said. "By the way Amara nice job finding that Play Dude stash the boys had."

"You're welcome," Amara grinned. "And thanks for smashing all the boy's video game records. They are going to die when they get back and see that we hold the top scores!"

"I gotta admit I didn't think Jean would be so good at Raving Rabbids 2," Rogue said. "Especially the shooting gallery section."

"Simple," Jean smirked. "I just imagined those dumb little bunnies as the boys. And every time they taunted me! WHACK! Plunger time! Oh look, there's a seat cushion from Scott's car I missed!" She went to go get it.

"Yeah playing video games and burning the guys' stuff was definitely better than going to school," Amara said.

"Don't remind her," Tabitha hissed in her ear. "You really wanna spend the last few days of school **in** school?"

"You know we do kind of deserve a break," Kitty realized.

"Wait a minute, what about you Amanda?" Rogue asked her brother's girlfriend. "Won't your parents care?"

"Not exactly," Amanda said. "Remember when the Brotherhood outed my mother out as a sorceress? My parents are still arguing over that."

"I can't believe even your dad didn't know…" Kitty shook her head.

Amanda shrugged. "We've all been fighting over it ever since. A few days ago my dad took off on a business trip for a few months to take a break from my mom. And then my mom took off to 'reconnect with her powers' at the exact same time. Now I don't think they purposely meant to leave me alone. But they haven't been talking to each other and…Long story short. It's been nice and quiet for a change. I could use the break."

"Whoa. And I thought only Pyro could make a bonfire like that," Wanda remarked as she walked right up to them. She had a backpack on her back full of clothes and other things. "It's almost like I never left home."

"Wanda? What are **you** doing here?" Jean asked.

"You got room for one more?" Wanda asked. "Because it's difficult enough dealing with **my** idiot squad! Having **your** idiot squad over there too is more than I can take!"

"By idiot squad I take it you mean the boys?" Amara asked.

"They went to the Brotherhood?" Kitty asked. "Even Scott?"

"He was the first one there!" Wanda said. "Spent the night in Toad's room."

"Talk about punishment," Tabitha wrinkled her nose. "What's that smell?"

"Smells like burned pineapple and papaya," Kitty said. "Wanda! Why do you smell like…?"

"Pyro kind of had a couple of incidents today," Wanda sighed. "You got a shower I can use?"

"I'll show you," Kitty got up and went with her. "What kind of incidents?"

"Just the usual. The kind that got us all banned from a grocery store and supplied the neighbors with burned pieces of fruit on the their lawn," Wanda said as she followed her.

"Oh is **that** all?" Kitty rolled her eyes.

"So what do we do now?" Amara asked. "I think we've burned enough stuff of the guys. Mostly Wolverine's."

"How about a barbecue?" Tabitha suggested as she looked at the bonfire.

"Not a bad idea," Rogue grinned.

"I'll get the marshmallows," Jean agreed, deciding to go with the flow.

**And the fun begins! **


	2. Sex And The Single Mutant

**Now for those few people reading this that ****aren't ****sex crazed perverts I am putting up a warning. This chapter has teenage girls talking about sex. Yes this is a shock. This is not a reflection or what people should do or not do! It's just a story. If you can't deal with imaginary teenage girls talking about their experiences, go read another fic. Probably something G rated with bunnies or something. **

**Seriously, if you get offended by this stuff, don't read it! It's that simple. I mean it's not as bad as some of the stuff on MTV but still...**

**See, I did the responsible thing and warned people. Now the rest of us who are perverted maniacs can enjoy the story. (Including me. I count myself among them.) **

**This chapter was inspired by one of my favorite TV shows! A show that is probably one of the best female shows ever made. A comedy about four single women dealing with life, love, their sex lives in a vibrant exciting city and wearing fabulous costumes! I'm talking of course about…The Golden Girls. **

**Sex And The Single Mutant**

"Oh I tell ya this is the life," Tabitha sighed as she lounged by the pool. The girls had all gotten changed into bathing suits and were relaxing. "Just kicking back and having a brew with the girls."

"Tabitha that's root beer," Jean pointed out.

"Technically it's beer," Rogue said.

"Well I would have the real thing except for two reasons, one you'd never let us have any real alcohol in the house and two…Well I always thought beer tasted like a tin can that's been melted down," Tabitha shrugged.

"You drank beer before?" Kitty asked.

"Couple of times I sneaked a sip while my old man was passed out," Tabitha shrugged. "Never got into it. Oh like I'm the only one who's ever had a drink!"

"I know Mystique let me have a sip of her bourbon and scotch once or twice while I lived with the Brotherhood," Rogue admitted.

"Yeah Rogue but that like doesn't count," Kitty said. "You had an excuse to drink. Oh sorry Jean, there is never any excuse to drink!"

"I didn't say that!" Jean said.

"Please it doesn't take a telepath to know what you were thinking," Wanda rolled her eyes. She was in the pool swimming and swam up to them. "I admit I found Mystique's stash and took a sip once myself. Before Pyro found it and used it to douse the couch and set it on fire. Of course this was after my brother spent the whole night sleeping naked on it so it was a trade off…"

"He still does that after a sugar rush huh?" Tabitha asked.

"You know about that?" Wanda asked.

"Girl I still have pictures," Tabitha smiled. "And video. Hate to admit it but he is worth a ride."

"Oh I am going to be **sick!**" Wanda winced. "Wait did you ever do it with…"

"I never had sex with anyone! And you really think I'd let my first time be with Mister I Can Do Anything Twice In Ten Seconds?" Tabitha said. "Fortunately my father saw me more as a punching bag and a cash machine rather than a Saturday night date. But I know a few girls I met in Juvie that had a lot worse than I did. My father may be a jerk but at least he's not a pedophile."

"When were you in Juvenile Hall?" Amanda asked.

"Before she got here the first time," Rogue explained. "That's how the Professor recruited her the first time before history repeated itself."

"What about…" Amara thought for the right word. "Experiences?"

"Experiences? You mean…sex right?" Kitty asked.

"Not exactly. Not the full thing. Just what's the closest thing you got to without actually…?" Amara shifted uncomfortably.

"Why do you wanna know?" Tabitha asked. "Is there a boy you like?"

"No! Well not anymore!" Amara said. "I kind of liked Roberto until I just found out what a sexist pig he was! I was just wondering…You know?"

"Oh so the girl wants some pointers huh?" Tabitha smirked. "Okay you girls can keep a secret right?"

"Probably not, but dish anyway," Rogue smirked.

"There was this one guy I took my top off and kissed, and no Wanda it wasn't Pietro!" Tabitha confessed.

"Tabitha!" Jean was shocked. "When was this?"

"A couple years ago," Tabitha shrugged. "In study hall."

"STUDY HALL?" Jean yelled. "What was it the teacher or something?"

"Of course not, he was asleep," Tabitha said. All the girls looked at her. "What?"

"You **flashed** an entire study hall?" Amara gasped.

"Not an entire study hall! Just one guy in the closet," Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Okay I let him feel me up a little too while we were kissing. It's no big deal."

"No big deal? No big **deal?**" Jean was shocked. "Tabitha I don't even know where to begin with this!"

"See this is why nobody tells you stuff," Tabitha said. "You overreact as bad as Scooter!"

"I do not over react as bad as Scott!" Jean pouted. "But in this case I think I have a right too! This is…Well this is pretty shocking you have to admit!"

Amara said. "It's not that shocking. I mean back where I come from bare breasts aren't exactly a big deal. Unless you're over fifty something and they droop. Then it's mandatory that you cover them."

"I can't believe you took your shirt off and made out with a guy in study hall!" Jean groaned.

"Oh grow up Jean," Rogue said. "I've heard of people doing a lot worse in the parking lot! So she let one of the Brotherhood Bozos feel her up a little…"

"It wasn't one of the Brotherhood boys. It was Kurt," Tabitha said. "Give me some credit for taste!"

"WHAT?" Amanda and Rogue yelled.

"I had my bra on!" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "It's not like he saw **everything!**"

"I can't believe you **did** that!" Amanda gasped.

"What was it, some kind of pity thing?" Wanda asked. "Or were you just being horny?"

"A little of column A and a little of column B," Tabitha shrugged. "I was bored. Blue Boy was looking down. I didn't want to do anything in study hall. So I figured what the hell? Sure put a smile on his face!"

"You flashed my boyfriend and let him **feel you up?"** Amanda yelled.

"One, it's not flashing if he doesn't see any nipples," Tabitha told her. "Two this was before he dumped me for you!"

"When **exactly** were you two dating?" Kitty asked. "I don't remember this."

"That's because it's mostly in her deranged mind," Rogue grumbled.

"Hold it, I think I remember that day," Jean thought. "I thought he was unusually happy for a guy who had to wax the X-Jet four times that afternoon!"

"Yeah he was in such a daze he did it **six** times," Kitty agreed.

"Was he the only guy you uh…Kissed a lot?" Amara asked. "I just want to know."

"I'll tell you about my hook ups if you tell me about yours," Tabitha snickered.

"Uh define 'hook ups'?" Amara asked.

"Any guy that's kissed you and touched your breasts," Tabitha said.

"Tabitha!" Jean was shocked.

"Oh, thirty eight," Amara said casually.

"THIRTY EIGHT!" Every girl shouted.

"Well twenty five of them don't count because it was at a fertility festival," Amara said. "And it was only part of the ritual. At least ten of them weren't that into it."

"Twenty five guys at the same time?" Rogue gasped. "In one day?"

"No, it's a two day festival," Amara rolled her eyes. "Oh come on! It's not like I went all the way with them!"

"Close enough!" Jean was shocked.

"My culture has very different attitudes about sex," Amara said defensively.

"Obviously!" Kitty was stunned.

"So she kissed thirty eight boys and let them touch her breasts?" Rogue said. "That doesn't make her a slut."

"Thank you Rogue," Amara said.

"It makes her **The Slut!"** Rogue said with emphasis.

"Rogue!" Both Amara and Tabitha shouted.

"The slut is dead," Rogue pointed from Tabitha to Amara. "Long live the slut!"

"It's not like I ever did it with the guys **here!"** Amara said. "I have better taste than that!"

"Amara I can't believe it! You never even talk about boys!" Tabitha protested.

"It's a known fact that most girls who talk a lot about sex don't do it as much," Rogue smirked. "Right Jean?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jean's face turned red as she sipped some lemonade.

"Get off Jean," Tabitha snorted. "We all know you've done it with Scott!"

"So tell us all about it!" Kitty squealed. "We want details!"

"I am not telling you anything to fuel your deranged imaginations!" Jean snapped.

"Come on Jean," Rogue said. "Some of us can **only** imagine! Throw us a bone here!"

"So when did you guys first do it and where?" Tabitha asked.

"Oh I am **not** talking about this!" Jean threw up her hands. "I mean most of you are too young to hear about this stuff!"

"Oh but we are old enough to get shot at and nearly killed in battles against megalomaniac mutants?" Wanda gave her a look. "Spill it sister."

Jean debated whether to tell them. "Oh come on Jean! It's probably no worse than the fantasies Rogue has when she uses her vibrator," Kitty pressed.

"ROGUE HAS A VIBRATOR?" Jean was shocked.

"Thank you Kitty…" Rogue glared at her. "I don't use it every day. Just…Look Mystique gave it to me a long time ago. It helps. That's all I'm going to say!"

"I guess that's one good thing Mystique did for you," Tabitha shrugged.

"I don't believe what I am hearing…" Jean groaned.

"So Rogue do you fantasize about Gambit while you're…?" Tabitha asked.

"Are you nuts? Wait stupid question!" Rogue growled.

"Oh get off it Rogue! Everyone knows you like him," Kitty rolled her eyes. "Stop pretending that you don't!"

"That swamp rat kidnapped me and nearly blew me up!" Rogue protested.

"Yeah and Lance tried to get me to steal test answers and Piotr tried to stomp my head in!" Kitty rolled her eyes. "In our line of work that's practically a come on!"

"And you think **I** have problems with my mentality about sex?" Amara gave her a look. "Look at what you people are attracted to! I'd like to think that my ideas on romance aren't based on deceit and violence! Wait…There was this one time. But it was part of the festival and technically …"

"I don't want to know anymore!" Jean interrupted.

"Well we do," Wanda said. "Specifically about Scott. Okay how good is he in bed?"

"I am not going to answer that question!" Jean said.

"Okay so answer this question," Tabitha said. "Where was the first place you two did it? The Danger Room?"

"No, that was the second place," Rogue said.

"Rogue!" Jean said.

"Wait, Rogue knows?" Kitty picked up on it.

"I know when and where but that's it," Rogue said.

"You told Rogue and not me?" Kitty was offended. "Why?"

"Because Rogue doesn't blab my secrets all over the mansion!" Jean said. "Usually… And I only told her because I accidentally caught a very strong thought about her and Remy having sex and…Oh my god you weren't doing what I **think** you were doing in the bathroom were you? Is **that** what that buzzing sound was? I thought it was an electric razor!"

"It **was** you jackass!" Rogue snapped. "What I can't have fantasies while doing other things? It's bad enough you pried into my head…"

"I didn't pry! I just picked it up! It happens!" Jean snapped. "My brain is like a transmitter! How would you like to pick up ever dirty thought or suggestive dream in an entire house full of teenage boys? It's not pretty!"

"What exactly do you 'hear'?" Amanda raised an eyebrow.

"You once picked up a thought about Lance didn't you?" Kitty asked. Jean turned red. "I knew it! Cheating bastard!"

"Please Kitty compared to the fantasies Quicksilver, Bobby and Ray have about me his dreams were extremely mild!" Jean groaned.

"I can imagine what my brother thinks but what about Berserker and Iceman?" Wanda asked.

"You really don't want to know because they think the same thing about you and every other girl in this mansion," Jean said. "And you Amanda."

"In other words the guys are bigger perverts than we are," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"I do **not **want to talk about this any more," Jean groaned.

"Sorry Jean but like it or not teenage girls have sex even though they shouldn't," Tabitha said. "And they think about it too."

"I just don't want to talk about it anymore," Jean said. "Especially since all this talk reminds me of how sleazy the guys are!"

"And for some reason puts me in the mood for eating cheesecake," Rogue blinked.

"I say we go out and have some fun," Tabitha grinned. "And I know just the place. Put on your dancing shoes girlfriends! We're going out!"

**Fifty brownie points for you if you can pick out which is a Quote from the Golden Girls! Next: The girls go out for a night on the town, but trouble follows them, as usual! **


	3. Put On Your Dancing Shoes

**Put On Your Dancing Shoes**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jean asked as she drove her SUV into the bustling city.

"Come on Jean! We can't stay cooped up in Bayville all our lives," Tabitha said. She and all the other girls were well dressed for clubbing. "And Saratoga City is nearly an hour away from Bayville. Nobody's going to know who we are."

"Let me point out the slight flaw in your plan," Wanda said. "There's this little invention that would broadcast all our identities for everyone in the world to see. It's called **television! **And guess what? We've all been **on it!"**

"Take a chill pill Wanda," Kitty grinned. "As long as we don't use our powers no one is gonna know it's us."

"I hope you're right," Jean looked around. "Where did you say this club was again?"

"Just around the corner," Tabitha said. "I've been here once on my travels. It's a great place to just go and dance the night away."

"The Hellfire Club?" Amara read the sign as they pulled in. "I dunno…"

"Looks ultra swanky," Amanda said. "Are you sure we can get in?"

"I got in no problem," Tabitha said. "Relax it'll be cool. I even have the same key card I had last time."

"Key card?" Kitty asked.

"Besides the main dance floor they give out certain tickets to people at random and you can go into these ultra secret dance party rooms," Tabitha said. "Oh don't give me a look like that Jean, this isn't some kind of seventies sex party thing."

"I'm not so sure," Jean said as she saw a few girls and guys lining up in black and white outfits apparently bought at the local S&M store.

"They have theme nights and they book parties," Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Besides look at all the other people dressed normally."

"Wait a minute, how did you get in Tabitha?" Jean realized. "You're underage. In fact most of you are underage!"

"Take one of Wanda's chill pills!" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Look at the sign. It's Under 21 night! No drinking! Geeze! Give me **some **credit!"

"Come on Jean," Kitty said. "It looks fine to me."

"Yeah and we all know what a **great** judge of character you are," Rogue rolled her eyes.

The girls were soon standing in line. "I just hope we don't stand out here all night," Amara said.

"Yeah we traveled a long way," Wanda grumbled. "I just hope it wasn't for nothing."

They didn't wait in line long before a woman in black and wearing strange looking sunglasses approached them. "You're new. I haven't seen most of you before."

"Oh hey there!" Tabitha showed her card. "These are my friends. They're with me."

"Yes…" The woman looked at them.

Unaware to anyone else the sunglasses were not just for decoration. MUTANT DNA DETECTED…The readout on the inside of the glasses informed the woman exactly who they were.

CONFIRMED: IDENTITY PROFILES

JEAN GREY: TELEPATH, TELEKINETIC…X-MAN LEVEL 4

ROGUE: PSYCHE ABSORBER…X-MAN LEVEL 4

AMARA 'MAGMA' AQUILLA: FIRE AND LAVA BASED POWERS…X-MAN LEVEL 4

KITTY 'SHADOWCAT' PRYDE: CORPOREAL INTANGIBILTY…X-MAN LEVEL 3.5. 4 IF YOU COUNT HER LETHAL COOKING SKILLS.

WANDA 'SCARLET WITCH' MAXIMOFF: PROBABILITY MANIPULATION…BROTHERHOOD LEVEL 4.5

TABITHA 'BOOM BOOM' SMITH: ENERGY DISCHARGER…WHO KNOWS WHERE SHE GOES HALF THE TIME? LEVEL 3.5

HUMAN COMPANION: UNKNOWN….SCANNING…DETECTING PROBABLITY OF X-GENE OVER 80 PERCENT. CHANCE OF POTENTIAL MUTATION ACTIVATION 80 PERCENT. POSSIBLE LEVEL…3-3.5

"This is a Level 3 card," The woman looked at it. "I'm afraid it's no longer valid."

"What?" Kitty asked.

"You are to be upgraded to Level 6," The woman said snapping her fingers at her burly assistant. "All of you."

"Is that good?" Amara asked. Tabitha rolled her eyes.

"Very good," The woman smiled. "Come with me."

"Oh this is so cool!" Amanda squealed with the rest of the girls.

She took them to a booth to give them new cards. "Place your fingerprints on the scanner," The woman said. "This is an identity check system."

"I've heard of this," Kitty said. "A lot of theme parks use it now for security reasons." The girls did so and got their cards.

"This elevator goes directly to Level 6, the highest level in the club," The woman said. "Have a good time!"

"All right! This is gonna be a blast!" Tabitha whooped and the elevator closed the doors as the girls went inside.

"You have **no** idea," The woman smiled. She then activated her headphone. "This is Tessa. We've hit the jackpot."

"Can you believe this?" Kitty squealed as the girls rode in the elevator. "We're going to the most exclusive room in the most exclusive club!"

"I dunno Kitty," Wanda looked around. "There's something weird about all this."

"Now you've got a touch of Jean-itis," Tabitha rolled her eyes.

The doors opened and they found themselves in an opulent dance floor. There were young sexy dancers, a band that was unbelievable…everything out of a rich girl's fantasy.

"Oh wow…" Rogue's eyes widened at the lights being reflected off the chandeliers.

"I think we all just died and went to party heaven," Kitty gasped.

"We hit the jackpot!" Amara gasped.

"Oh look at that!" Tabitha whistled as a shirtless bartender did fancy tricks with drinks. "I've seen what I like!"

"Now be careful," Jean said. "Nobody use their powers and for crying out loud no drinking!"

"Jean like we said we weren't gonna do that a million times! Chill out!" Kitty rolled her eyes. "Hey are those slot machines?"

"Forget that!" Amanda said. "Come on Rogue! Let's get on the dance floor! It's not that crowded."

"Okay," Rogue was wearing her orange outfit she once wore to a certain dance at Bayville High that ended up hosting interdimensional monsters. "Why not?" The girls went off to dance and have fun.

For some reason though Jean felt on edge. She didn't know why. She put on a smile and danced with the girls for a bit. Then she went on the sidelines to watch them. Both Tabitha and Kitty had discovered the slot machines and went to try them out. She sat near the bar watching the girls have fun.

"Pardon me," A young Japanese-American man with shaggy black hair and expensive clothes stood next to her. "But you don't look like you're having any fun."

"Oh uh, no I'm fine…" Jean began.

"Let me guess," The young man smirked. "You don't normally go to places like this but your boyfriend has done something incredibly stupid and ticked you off."

"Are you reading my mind?" Jean asked. "Wow there's a sentence I thought I'd never have to use."

"Let's just say in my line of work you learn to read your customers well," The young man smiled. "I'm Shinobi Shaw. I'm one of the owners of the club."

"Really?" Jean blinked. "I'm Jean Grey," She shook his hand.

"Wait I know that name," Shinobi said. "You're one of those heroes aren't you? The X-Men! This is an honor!"

"You…don't mind?" Jean was surprised.

"Why would I mind?" Shinobi asked. "Last I checked you guys saved the planet a few times."

"It's nice to hear that for a change," Jean relaxed. "So you run this club?"

"I believe in the youth of this nation," Shinobi said. "I guess it's because I'm not that much older. I just like throwing parties and I found a way to make money off of it."

He then turned to a female bartender. "Hey Regan! Drinks on the house for the lady and her friends."

"Oh I don't…" Jean began.

"Non alcoholic drinks," Shinobi said. "You know what I mean."

"Right away boss," The young blonde woman grinned. "I know **exactly **what you mean."

Meanwhile Rogue had split from the group to use the ladies room. It was upstairs on a second level across from the dance floor. When she got out someone bumped into her. Fortunately they didn't touch her skin.

"Sorry! But you gotta be…YOU! What the hell are **you **doing here?" Rogue shouted as she recognized who she bumped into.

"And bon jour to you too Chere," Remy 'Gambit' LeBeau grinned back at her. "Come here often?"

**Oh yeah this fic is gonna heat up in more ways than one! Until next time! **


	4. Get Down Tonight

**Get Down Tonight**

"What the hell are you doing here Swamp Rat?" Rogue growled.

"I was going to ask you the same question Cherie," Remy smirked. "You don't normally go out on the town. Although Remy has to admit you look very good in that outfit. I never pictured you in orange before but it works…"

"I was trying to get out of Bayville and **away** from all the idiot men in my life!" Rogue snapped. "So much for that plan! You stalking me again?"

"No, this time it is a happy coincidence," Remy grinned. "So who did what to tick you off this time?"

"I told you, all the idiot men in my life," Rogue folded her arms. "All drooling over some fake blonde bimbo in a white bikini."

"Please tell me this is not about that stupid Wolverine and The X-Men Cartoon that is all over the internet," Remy groaned.

"You know about that too?" Rogue asked.

"Saw your picture on it and got interested," Remy said. "You look good but they got Gambit all wrong! At least I think that was me. Couldn't really tell because I was only on for two seconds while Wolverine kept hogging the freaking spotlight! I mean how much publicity does that man **need?**"

"Tell me about it," Rogue rolled her eyes.

"And what is this thing about him being the leader of the X-Men?" Remy asked. "Isn't that Cyclops's job? Come on! Even if Jean did die or disappear in a horrible tragedy you really see him sitting on the couch watching TV all day?"

"I know," Rogue said. "What is **that** all about? The Cyclops I know is practically married to the Danger Room!"

"Exactly!" Remy nodded. "And they couldn't pick a different love interest than Emma Frost? I mean come on, replace one nosy domineering telepath with a castrating dominatrix telepath? Where's the originality in that?"

"I always saw Scott with…NEVER MIND!" Rogue snapped out of it. "We're getting off track! Why are **you** here?"

"I'll tell you if you dance with me," Remy smiled.

"What?" Rogue gasped.

"We're both wearing gloves and the songs aren't even that slow," Remy showed her. "Why not?"

"Why not? One, you're working for Magneto…" Rogue began to list them off.

"Not anymore," Remy corrected her. "Cut my ties with him long ago after Apocalypse."

"Two you're probably casing the joint to steal something or blow it up!"

"Only one way to find out. Cherie I give you my word of honor I will tell you everything after one dance."

"Three if those other girls see me dancing with you I will never hear the end of it!"

"Don't worry Rogue," Remy looked down the balcony. "Plenty of privacy up here."

"WHOO HOOO! LET 'EM RIDE!" Tabitha whooped at the slot machines. "ALL RIGHT! JACKPOT!"

"Besides, I think your friends are a little too occupied to be concerned about evil mutants right now," Remy smiled. "So care to dance?"

"Just so you know I'm **only **doing this for the information," Rogue told him.

"Sure you are Chere," Remy smirked as they slow danced. "Sure you are…"

Meanwhile most of the other girls had gotten tired of dancing and were now watching Tabitha and Wanda at the slot machines. "Whoa! I never saw a slot machine give out real dollar bills before," Wanda was amazed at how much money she won.

"Are you sure you're not like…using your powers?" Kitty asked.

"Kitty even **with **my powers the odds of me winning this much aren't **that **good," Wanda's eyes widened as she took out a few hundred dollar bills she won and stuffed them in her clothes.

"Is this even legal?" Amada asked.

"Probably not," Tabitha shrugged as she won even more money. "Better not let Jean see us with all this cash."

"Where is Jean anyway?" Amara looked around. "Last I saw her she was at the bar."

"Haven't seen Rogue either," Kitty frowned.

"Oh please, they're fine!" Tabitha waved as she won more money. "Jean's not the type to get into trouble anyway!"

Little did she know in a back room just behind the dance floor Jean was lying on a couch semi conscious. "Good work Lady Mastermind," Shinobi grinned to the female bartender Regan. "Who would have thought so little tequila would have done the job so well? But do you think that's enough for her to stay under control until we transport her back to headquarters?"

"Don't worry," Regan told Shinobi. "I gave her a mental whammy just to be on the safe side so she won't remember her name let alone…"

"Oh wow!" Jean began to mutter. She started to float off the couch. "Anybody get the name of that ice cream truck?"

"I thought you said your telepathy knocked her out?" Shinobi hissed.

"I did!" Regan snapped. "For her to recover this fast her shields must be stronger than I thought!"

"Oh yeah! I feel gooooooooood!" Jean hiccupped. "Hey I bet I can break down that wall with my powers!"

SMASH!

"Not to mention her tolerance for alcohol," Regan blinked. "I'd better…"

But before Regan could do anything Jean used her telekinesis to make everything in the room fly like crazy. And one of the objects hit Regan in the head, knocking her out.

"Cool! I make stuff fly!" Jean laughed drunkenly.

"This could be a problem…" Shinobi gulped. "I knew we should have started with Rogue first!"

Meanwhile Rogue was dancing on the upper level with Remy. "One of your favorite songs," He flashed a smile at her. "Save the Last Dance, appropriate no?"

"Of course you would know that," Rogue rolled her eyes. "You're my own personal stalker."

"Gambit's not a stalker," Remy smirked. "I prefer the term 'boundary challenged'."

"So what exactly are you doing here?" Rogue asked. "I've held up my end of the bargain! How tell me what you're doing here? Stealing something? Maybe I should go to the manager and…"

"And I wouldn't do that. Better be careful," Remy frowned. "This place is not what it seems to be. If I were you…I'd go find Jean. Now!"

CRASH!

"I think we just found her," Rogue looked down from the balcony.

"OH YEAH! I'M THE COOL AID GUY! Uh…I mean girl," Jean hiccupped as she floated around. "Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Now what the hell is…?" Rogue turned around but Remy was gone. "Damn it! That jerk!"

"Holy crap! Jean what are you **doing?**" Tabitha yelled as the girls ran to Jean as everyone else started running away. The reason they were running was that everything nailed down started flying all over the place.

"Hey Boom Boom Boom…" Jean giggled. "Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom…"

"Jean are you **drunk?**" Rogue's jaw dropped as she ran to her.

"I'm not drunk! I feel good!" Jean laughed. Then she began to sing. "_I feel good! I knew that I would now! I feeeeelllllll gooooooooooodddddd!" _

"I don't know what Jean's on but I'd like a prescription," Tabitha blinked.

"Aw the party's over," Jean blinked. "Everyone's going home. I think I'll go out! This is a great night for flying!"

"Jean wait!" Kitty protested but before she could do anything, Jean telekinetically broke a nearby window and flew through it.

"I'm flying!" Jean shrieked with laughter.

"What the hell…?" Amanda's jaw dropped.

"Let's take stock of the situation," Kitty winced. "Jean is drunk and her powers are out of control. We're doomed."

"Yeah Tabitha, this was a **great idea!"** Wanda said sarcastically.


	5. Flight of the Drunken Jean

**Flight of the Drunken Jean**

"How the hell did Miss Perfectly Responsible get **drunk?**" Wanda yelled as Kitty drove the SUV all over the city.

"How the hell should I know?" Rogue snapped. "But if we don't get her back there's gonna be a lot of trouble!"

"How are we gonna find her?" Amanda asked.

"Simple," Wanda said. "Look for a flying red head causing chaos!"

A little known fact of Saratoga City is that it houses one of many buildings owned by important people. One of them was Stark Enterprises. On top of the building there was a private suite with an outdoor hot tub. And in that hot tub relaxing was Tony Stark himself.

Imagine his surprise when a young red haired woman flew out of the sky. "Hi there!" Jean giggled. "You're cute! I'm Tinkerbell! Bye bye!" As Jean flew away her dress flew backwards, giving Tony a good look at her pink flower underwear.

"I just got flashed by a flying woman," Tony blinked. He looked at the cocktail he had in his hand. "I don't know what the hell is in this drink but I'd better find out the recipe!"

Back on the ground the girls in the SUV looked everywhere for Jean. "She couldn't have gotten that far!" Amara said looking at the sky. "Where could she be?"

"Dive! Dive!" Jean flew overhead and startled many people on the sidewalk by flying dangerously low to the ground then zooming up again.

"There she goes!" Tabitha pointed. "Crazy girl at Twelve O Clock!"

"It's not even eleven thirty!" Kitty said.

"Just drive you maniac!" Rogue shouted. "Whatever you do, don't lose her!"

"Got it!" Kitty swerved. "Hang on! I'll cut her off with a shortcut."

"Kitty wait…" Wanda gulped as she realized that Kitty was headed straight through to an apartment building.

"Hang on! Here we go!" Kitty shouted.

Kitty used her phasing powers to drive through an apartment building. Tenants screamed in panic as she careened through. "GHOST CAR! GHOST CAR!" A man yelled as he fled for his life.

Another man was watching television with his wife when Kitty drove through. The wife looked at the husband. "I don't care if this place **is** haunted!" He snapped. "I ain't moving in with your mother! Besides, this ain't half as scary as that old bat!"

At this the wife promptly hit him.

"Oh what a view!" Jean giggled as she flew. She saw a handsome man in a window stepping out of the shower and flew over. "Hi there!" She waved.

"AAAHHH!" The poor man tried to cover himself with a shower curtain and fell backwards into the tub, taking the curtain down with him. "My spine!"

"He's fallen and can't get up!" Jean laughed as she flew away.

"This is so much fun!" Jean laughed. "I love flying!" Jean flew past more stunned people on the sidewalk. Of course her dress moved exposing her underwear and several men stared at her. In turn they got hit by their very annoyed girlfriends.

"Left! She's going left!" Tabitha shouted. "No! Red light!"

"Not a problem!" Kitty gunned it.

"Here we go **again!**" Rogue gritted her teeth. "Hang on!"

SCREEEEE!

ZOOOM!

CRASH!

"See thanks to my powers we got through that red light without a scratch," Kitty said.

"Too bad the same can't be said for those **other** cars back there," Wanda looked backwards. Then she looked ahead. "KITTY GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!"

"AAAAHHH!" Pedestrians leapt out of the way.

"Sorry!" Kitty shouted. A car honked furiously as Kitty cut it off. "Hey! Move it or lose it buddy!"

"And you wonder why you never passed Driver's Ed?" Rogue groaned.

"Kitty! Slow down! There's another red light! And a cop car is ahead of us!" Tabitha yelled.

"No! Don't **speed up!"** Amanda screamed. "KITTY!"

VROOM!

The cops in the car were shocked as an SUV drove right through their vehicle and through another red light. Fortunately this time no other cars were coming but unfortunately the cops saw everything.

"Burt, did that SUV drive right **though** us?" One cop asked the other.

"I believe it did Ernie," The other said. "I believe it did."

Then the car's mechanics and radio equipment shorted out. "You know Burt how I'm always telling you that one day I'm gonna quit the force and go move to Florida and live on a boat?" Ernie asked.

"Yeah?"

"Today's the day!" Ernie snapped.

"Take me with you!" Burt moaned.

"For crying out loud Kitty!" Rogue shouted. "If Jean doesn't wreck this town your driving will!"

"Hey! You want me to follow her? I'm following her!" Kitty snapped. "Did she just fly backwards? Hang on!"

The vehicle screeched as Kitty did an illegal U-Turn and phased through a few more cars. Of course the drivers of the cars were startled and crashed into each other, causing a few more accidents.

"I think I'm gonna throw up…" Amara went pale.

"Don't throw up on me!" Rogue snapped. "Kitty she's going the other direction! Kitty! Don't drive **backwards!"**

Amara then threw up in the back seat. "I am not cleaning that up!" Tabitha groaned. "I'm feeling kind of queasy myself! And this is coming from a girl who loves roller coasters!"

"Look do you want to catch her or **not?**" Kitty snapped. "There she goes! Into that building!"

"Kitty wait! Don't…" Rogue began but Kitty ignored her. "Drive **into** the building…"

"She's on an upper floor you moron!" Tabitha snapped. "How are you gonna get up there? Take the elevator? I don't think the SUV is gonna fit in it!"

"IT'S PARTY TIME!" Jean was heard laughing.

"I don't think we have to drive to get her," Kitty jumped out of the SUV. "Sounds like she's nearby!"

"Everyone remember where we parked!" Tabitha quipped as the girls jumped out of the van and ran up the stairs. "Hey we're in a fancy hotel!"

"And Jean just crashed a wedding," Wanda remarked as Jean was flying around a nearby reception room.

"Yeah! Everyone party!" Jean laughed. "It's so warm in here! Whoo hoo!"

"Oh no Jean! Don't do what I think you're going to do!" Rogue ran under her. "Jean no! No! Jean don't take off…"

Jean's dress fell on top of Rogue's head. "Your clothes." Rogue threw off the dress only to have Jean's bra fall on her head. "Oh boy…"

"The one good thing about this is that nobody is gonna remember her **face,"** Tabitha remarked.

"Now's our chance!" Rogue shouted. "Wanda hit her with your hex bolts!"

"Got it!" Wanda used her powers to send her flying into a nearby curtain.

"Wheeeeeeeeee!" Jean giggled as she slid down.

"Okay Jean! Party's over!" Rogue snapped as she took off a glove and touched the back of her neck. Jean was knocked out instantly. "Whoa…"

"Rogue…" Kitty gulped as several security guards ran in with their guns drawn.

"On it!" Rogue used Jean's powers to put a whammy on them. "Okay they'll forget our faces or the fact we were here! Let's go!"

"But what about…?" Amanda began.

"No time!" Kitty said as she helped Rogue carry Jean out wrapped in the torn curtain. "Let's go!"

"But don't you think…?" Wanda began.

"Come on!" Tabitha yanked Wanda's arm.

"Okay, okay! Don't yank my arm out of it's socket!" Wanda snapped. The girls got into the van.

"**I'll **drive this time!" Rogue shoved Kitty out of the driver's seat. "You just make the van intangent one more time!"

"Spoil sport!" Kitty grumbled. Soon they were on the highway. "Well other than Jean's little outburst. It wasn't that bad."

"Are you on drugs or just **insane?**" Wanda snapped. "No wonder you and Lance hooked up in the first place!"

"Forget it! Let's just go home and pretend this never happened!" Rogue snapped. "I erased everyone's memories of us at the hotel so Jean will never know about her little…exposure."

"What about the cameras?" Amanda asked.

"What cameras?" Kitty asked.

"The two hundred cameras everyone had at the wedding reception!" Wanda snapped. "Not counting the cell phone cameras people had filming Jean's little striptease!"

"Oh…" Rogue realized she messed up. "I forgot about that."

"How could you…?" Amanda fumed.

"I was trying to save our skins!" Rogue snapped. "I can't think of everything!"

"Amanda and I thought of it but you all got so damn impatient…" Wanda snapped.

"Okay, okay! Maybe no one will notice it or tape over it?" Amara asked. "Okay even I admit that was lame!"

"How much you wanna bet some geek back there is looking at the playback and downloading it to You Tube as we speak?" Tabitha groaned. "And if they haven't they will soon!"

"That's gonna be one hell of a wedding video I tell you that," Wanda said.

"I'm not gonna be the one to tell her," Rogue said.

"Well neither am I," Kitty said.

"Let her find out on the Internet like everyone else," Wanda grumbled.


	6. Hair of the Dog

**Hair of The Dog**

"I am going to die…" Jean moaned as she staggered into the kitchen the following morning. "I am so going to die…" Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a bathrobe and pajamas with shorts. "I am going to die..."

"Hey looks who's finally up!" Rogue said cheerfully. "The Dancing Queen!"

"Bite me Rogue," Jean snarled. Then winced. "Since when was daylight so **bright?**"

"Since the sun was up hours ago," Wanda remarked. "It's almost noon." All the girls were hanging around the kitchen.

"Please let there be coffee…" Jean slumped on a chair. "If there is a merciful God in heaven let there be coffee…And why is everyone breathing so loud? Ohhhhhh!"

"That Jean is called a hangover," Wanda grinned. "It's nature's way of telling you what an **ass** you were."

"What happened last night?" Jean groaned. "Last thing I remember is taking a drink of something and then...It's all fuzzy..."

"You don't remember what you did?" Kitty asked giving the other girls looks.

"Not a clue," Jean sighed. "It's all a blank."

"That's good," Kitty sighed. "I mean...You really made a fool of yourself and kinda wrecked the place."

"Let's just say we had to get you out of there before the cops hauled you away," Wanda said.

"I think it's funny," Tabitha smirked. Everyone looked at her. "Think about it. Miss Perfect here kept warning us not to drink and cause trouble and…"

"Yes, Tabitha…" Jean gritted her teeth **"Hilarious!"**

"More like ironic," Wanda thought.

"Look it's not like I got drunk on purpose!" Jean snapped. "Someone spiked my drink! Some guy…Oh I can't remember who it is but when I do I am going to kill him!"

"Wait you said a guy spiked your drink?" Kitty asked. "Then it wasn't your fault. Who was it?"

"How the hell should I know?" Jean was annoyed. "I barely remember anything from that night!"

"Did anybody see anything?" Rogue asked.

"Didn't you?" Kitty asked.

"I was on the other side of the room," Rogue told her friends, deciding not to mention who exactly she was with. "Trying to block out the noise and not have anybody touch me."

"Please somebody **shoot** me…" Jean moaned. "Just shoot me through the head and throw my body in the ocean…Maybe then I'll get some peace and quiet around here!"

"Okay Jean I'll help," Rogue sighed. She pulled out a bottle from the counter. "I had a feeling I was going to have to use this."

"What is that?" Jean asked.

"Something that will help you with your hangover," Rogue said.

"What is it?" Kitty asked.

"Vodka," Rogue said.

"VODKA?" Kitty yelled.

"Kitty please…" Jean winced in agony.

"Where did you get the vodka?" Amanda asked.

"Same place where I got the bourbon," Rogue showed them. "Xavier's liquor cabinet."

"What do you need vodka and bourbon for?" Tabitha asked. "Jean's already out of it."

"Yeah you want her to blow the house away?" Amara asked.

"It's part of Mother Mystique's Old Fashioned Hangover Remedy for Mutants Only," Rogue said. "Before I left the Brotherhood she taught me the recipe."

"You made this for her didn't you?" Wanda asked.

"Once or twice," Rogue said getting out a blender. "Okay six times. The point is drinking a glass of this stuff guarantees an almost instant cure for any mutant that has a hangover. Humans are out of luck."

"But vodka…?" Kitty asked.

"Ever hear the phrase 'hair of the dog'?" Tabitha smirked. "Okay Rogue. You get to be the bartender."

"More like my executioner if this is going where I **think** this is going…" Jean moaned.

"Okay first you pour about a cup of vodka," Rogue got the ingredients together. "Then pour in some orange juice, tomato juice, lime juice, pickle juice…"

"**Pickle** juice?" Jean blinked as Rogue drained a pickle jar.

"Throw in some cut up apples, bananas, almonds…" Rogue went on. "Lemon, honey, a dash of cinnamon, a tablespoon of peanut butter…"

"Peanut butter?" Amara asked.

"Two tablets of alka seltzer," Rogue added to the concoction.

"For the upset stomach you get for drinking this thing," Wanda remarked. "Very handy."

"A shot of brandy," Rogue went on. "And a small amount of charcoal. About a tablespoon."

"CHARCOAL?" Jean yelled then winced in pain. "Oh no…"

"Hit another shot of bourbon. Throw in a few crushed ice cubes and blend it all together…" Rogue did so. "Voila!" She poured the grey drink in a tall glass.

"Forget the hair of the dog," Jean winced. "It looks like you threw in an entire pound! Smells like it too!"

"Man this looks worse than one of Kitty's concoctions," Tabitha wrinkled her nose. "What does it taste like?"

"How the hell should I know?" Rogue asked. "I've never been stupid enough to get drunk."

"Are you sure about this?" Jean wrinkled her nose.

"Hey you don't **have** to drink it," Rogue shrugged. "You can just spend the rest of the day with the cast of Riverdance in your head."

"Is **that** what that pounding is?" Jean moaned. "Oh all right…" She closed her eyes and took a deep drink. She made a face.

"So?" Kitty asked. "Did it work?"

"UGH!" Jean made a face and ran to the bathroom after nearly dropping what was left of the drink.

"It worked," Rogue nodded as she heard the sounds of Jean throwing up. "She'll be fine in about a half hour or until she stops throwing up. Whichever comes first."

"I am never going to drink alcohol," Kitty winced. "Ever!"


	7. Spa Anyone?

**Spa Anyone?**

"I didn't know there was a spa in the next town over," Kitty said as they went up the drive. "Or that you knew someone there Tabitha."

"Oh yeah," Tabitha nodded. "I got a friend who works there and she lets me chill out all the time. This will help you de-stress from last night Jean."

"How do you know about all these places and where to go?" Jean asked.

"Hello? I did do a bit of wandering during the time between I stayed at the Brotherhood and went back to you, ya know?" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Besides you didn't think you guys were the only friends I made in Bayville did you? I have e-mail pals, pen pals…friends from Juvie that kept in touch! I know people."

"What sort of people?" Amanda groaned. "That's what we're worried about."

"I know Samantha back from Juvie. She's real cool, nice girl," Tabitha said. "A real sweet kid who got dealt a bad hand but she made good and she's now a massage therapist."

"Not that I'm judging but what did that sweet kid do to get into Juvenile Hall?" Rogue asked.

"Let's just say she and Pyro would get along real well and leave it at that," Tabitha said. "Besides she's on new medication now and she's much better since she doesn't hear the voices anymore."

"I just hope this is a better idea than last night," Wanda said. "Although from what I'm hearing so far it doesn't sound like it."

"Yeah I mean…Massages and my powers don't exactly mix," Rogue said.

"Relax Rogue! They have special massage treatments where you're fully clothes and the attendants have to wear gloves anyway," Tabitha waved. "I told her about you guys and she has no problems with mutants. Just uh…don't say anything about Papayas and you'll be fine."

"Maybe we should introduce your friend to Pyro?" Wanda rolled her eyes. "Sounds like they'd get along like a house on fire."

"More like they'd probably **set **a house on fire," Kitty groaned.

They were met at the door by a nineteen year old girl with curly long ginger hair, a new age outfit and a lot of jewelry. "Tabby!"

"Sammy!" Tabitha hugged her friends. "Guys this is Samantha! Samantha these are my friends."

"Oh wow it is so like great to meet all of you," Samantha smiled. She had a strange look in her eyes, like someone who had eaten one too many brownies with an illegal ingredient in them. "So like cosmic!"

"Well you and her should get along, Kitty," Rogue gave Kitty a look. "Since you both have the same speech patterns." Kitty just stuck her tongue out at Rogue.

"You guys are going to totally love this place!" Samantha said. "It is like so peaceful and relaxing and you can like commune with nature and hear the voice of the Earth speaking to you!"

Samantha stiffened. "Oh I hear the cries of nature now! Hello little tree! Are you thirsty?" She affectionately stroked a potted plant. "Has anyone watered your tender little leaves? You poor baby. Poor little widdle potty plantie…My widdle, widdle, plantie pottie wottie…I will be right back after I give my friendsy wensies some free spa treatments! And then I'm gonna give you some treatie weeties! Yes you are! Yes you are!"

"Oh boy…" Rogue groaned. "I think I'm gonna upchucky wucky and be sicky wicky all over the place."

"Uh are you sure this is all right?" Jean asked. "That you won't get in trouble for doing this?"

"Because if you do get in trouble we will be happy to go!" Rogue said quickly.

"Oh don't worry," Samantha waved. "It's no biggie. Besides it's not like I haven't been doing worse stuff all week! I have issues with the management."

"Issues?" Tabitha asked. "Uh Sam are you on any medication?"

"Like I need **that!**" Samantha waved. "I'm fiinneeeee!"

"Uh Samantha," A towel girl walked up to her. "The bosses want to see you. They found your 'special garden' and want to get rid of it before the police…"

The towel girl noticed the others. "I mean, they just want a word with you about the gardens. Oh yeah and something about the incident in the steam room."

"What incident in the steam room?" Rogue did a double take.

"It was no big deal," Samantha waved.

"Samantha the family wants to sue us claiming wrongful death and all that stuff," The towel girl said. "I think they want to cut your paycheck or something." She ran off.

"THOSE FACISTS!" Samantha fumed. Then she changed back to her sweet personality. "Excuse me. I just like need to have a word with the uh, management. I will be right back to personally take care of you…After I take care of **them!"**

Samantha calmly went into another room. After she closed the door behind her, she was heard screaming: "ALL RIGHT YOU BASTARDS! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MESSING WITH MY KARMA? AUNT SHIRLEY YOU'D BETTER NOT HAVE EATEN MY SPECIAL BROWNIES AGAIN!"

"So she's a friend of yours huh, Tabitha?" Wanda asked. "Why does this not surprise me?"

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE STEAM ROOM EXPLODED!" Samantha said. "AND EVEN IF IT WAS LIKE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! WELL I'M NOT THE ONE WHO LIKE ALLOWED SMOKING IN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"She's a few fruit loops short of a bowl," Amanda gulped.

"Do I like…really sound like that?" Kitty asked.

"Uh like, yeah," Rogue told her. "Only your sentences aren't so disturbing and can't be used as evidence in a court of law."

"Wow, that **is** annoying," Kitty said.

"I don't believe it," A frosty voice chilled the air. "And I thought this spa was a place to get **away** from the irritants of the outside world."

"Look if you have a problem with mutants…" Rogue turned around.

"It's not mutants in general I have a problem with my dear," A very blonde, very familiar looking woman in a white robe glared at them. "It's the lower **dregs **of mutant society that repel me. Gives the rest of us a bad name."

"You're Emma Frost…" Jean realized who it was.

"Yes I am," Emma sniffed. "And unfortunately I know who **you** people are. And you are every bit as common in person as I thought."

"I hate her already," Kitty groaned.

**The fun is about to begin…He he…**


	8. How Theraputic!

**How Therapeutic!**

"Just what exactly are you doing here Emma Frost?" Jean growled.

"You caught me," Emma said sarcastically. "This is my headquarters to plot world domination using my breasts to hypnotize men."

"What?" Jean gasped.

"Oh please that's what Pryde here was thinking," Emma pointed. "Correction, that's the **edited** version of what she was thinking. I'm here to do some relaxing. Believe me, if I had thought that I would be anywhere **near **any of you today, I would have gone somewhere else. But I had to honor that stupid coupon…"

She turned to Rogue. "Yes I read your minds. But not that much to read as far as I'm concerned."

"Of all the unethical…" Jean fumed.

"Oh get off your high horse little Miss X-Perfect!" Emma groaned. "This might come as a surprise to you, but not every mutant out there has had the benefit or the luck of being rescued and trained by a kindly, benevolent millionaire. Some of us had to figure out our powers and survive the hard way. And if that involved a little mind reading or memory manipulation to make enough money to eat or not get killed, so much the better!"

"Looks like you're eating quite well," Rogue folded her arms.

"At least I'm not whoring my image out for the public for some useless cause that will never result in anything positive," Emma smirked.

"From what I've seen and heard **everything else** about you screams whore!" Rogue fumed.

"I'll just consider that professional jealousy my dear," Emma smirked. "Or in your case envy."

"**What** did you say you…?" Rogue snarled.

"Rogue," Jean stopped her. She looked at Emma. "Look I admit I don't know much about you…"

"You're right, you don't know me **at all**," Emma snarled. "So spare me the lecture. I may only be two years older than you Jean, but I am a hell of a lot wiser in the ways of the world than any of you."

"You're gonna be wiser in the ways of our fists if you keep talking down to us!" Tabitha growled.

"Oh get over yourselves," Emma rolled her eyes. "So you beat a few pathetic bad guys and got lucky against one extremely powerful dangerous mutant. That's hardly a reason to boast. You seriously don't think you and the Brotherhood are the only mutant teams out there do you? That's so pathetic it's laughable!"

"Well if there are, how come we've never heard of them?" Amara asked.

"Because my dear Princess," Emma smiled sweetly. "Unlike you, we know how to keep a low profile. By the way thanks a **lot** for exposing our secret to the entire planet!"

"That wasn't our fault!" Jean snapped.

"No, the fault is Xavier and Magneto for thinking that just sending out a bunch of barely trained teenage monkeys out to fight each other is going to solve anything for mutantkind!" Emma snarled.

"Xavier is a great man who teaches us how to use our powers for the good of mankind! Unlike some people he has morals!" Jean said. "Uh no offense Wanda…"

"None taken," Wanda shrugged. "I know a lot of people have issues with my father. I used to. Even though I'm not really sure why."

_Actually my dear Jean, I do have morals, _Emma smirked as she sent a telepathic message for Jean only. _For example, I would always tell my friends the truth. Especially when it concerns a friend of mine whose memories have been erased. A friend who was used by her father and her torment was erased by another telepath and everyone around her willingly participates in a cover up so that their lives would me made a little easier. _

_Come off it Jean, I know after Apocalypse Xavier figured out exactly what happened to Wanda and all of you did as well. And yet you still didn't tell her about her father's heinous crime. The Brotherhood I can understand. They're cowardly morons but you…So much for the theory of you X-Men being better. _

_Don't lie to me Jean. You don't want Wanda to remember because if and when she does, she's going to get out of control again and you might not be able to stop her. And if you can't stop her, well there goes your little theory of mutants and humans getting along now does it? _

_Of course it's not the only secret you and your friends are keeping is it? I wonder how Kurt would feel if he figured out that his friends knew about Magneto experimenting on him as an infant and they didn't tell him? _

_Oh yes you're concerned about his feelings and not wanting him to get hurt. But it's a little late for that isn't it? You can't exactly erase a lifetime of being an outcast and being treated as a demon with a well meaning secret. Trust me, the boy will feel much better about himself once he realizes that it wasn't God that cursed him with his appearance, but a mortal and cruel man. All right I admit he might get a tad upset and might concern himself with revenge, but that's a much healthier emotion than self loathing. _

_And how many times have you or Xavier erased memories in order to protect your identities…for all the good it did? _

_So go ahead and call me an immoral bitch all you like. At least I know what I am. And unlike you, I'm not a __**hypocrite. **_

_Unless of course you'd like to prove me wrong and tell your dear friend Wanda exactly everything that happened to her? Or maybe I should? _

_Do I really need to __**spell out**__ what might happen if you try to throw your weight around here? _

_I think you girls should go. NOW! _

"Come on girls," Jean said. "Let's get out of here."

"Why should we leave?" Rogue asked. "We have just as much right to be here as she does!"

"Let's just go," Jean said. "All of the sudden this place lost it's relaxing atmosphere."

"That's right little girls, run along," Emma smirked. "I kind of feel sorry for those boys you live with. I guess it must have been a shock to see a real woman on the team when they saw that cartoon. At least a woman that doesn't have to stuff tissues down her bra. Right Kitty?"

No one saw it coming. Kitty stood there shocked until Rogue turned around and socked Emma in the face with her gloved fist, knocking her down.

"That's for insulting my friends you mutant trash bimbo!" Rogue shouted. "And at least Kitty's breasts are **real!** And her nose! And it looks like you might need some more liposuction on your thighs again!"

"Why you insolent little…" Emma snarled as she changed to a diamond form. "I don't need telepathy to take a gothic wannabe freak like you down!"

"Bring in on!" Rogue got into a fighting stance.

"Oh what the hell?" Jean rolled her eyes.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Emma was startled as she was telekinetically thrown against a wall.

"HEY!" Rogue snapped. "I wanted to do that!"

"Yeah well you got the first punch in," Jean shrugged as she threw Emma against another wall, creating a huge hole in it. "Ooff! You were right about the liposuction Rogue! She's heavier than she looks!"

"Oh you are so going to pay for this you little…" Emma screamed.

CRASH!

"And there goes another wall," Tabitha blinked.

"Boy I thought Jean did a lot of damage last night," Amara blinked.

"You know, for someone who preaches restraint with mutant powers," Kitty noticed. "Jean does trash a lot of things."

"Does anybody smell smoke?" Wanda blinked. Then the fire alarm sounded. "Is that the fire alarm?"

"Don't look at me!" Amara gasped. "I didn't do it!"

"Oh no…" Tabitha groaned as she heard maniacal laughing. "I knew Samantha was off her medication!"

"FIRE ME HUH? HOW ABOUT I FIRE **YOU?**" Samantha laughed.

"We've got to do something!" Amara said.

"Yeah run like hell!" Wanda told her. "Jean! Put Frosty the Snow Bitch down and let's go before the cops come!"

"But what about the people…?" Jean began.

Suddenly several scantily clad women and men ran by them. Some of the men were wearing dresses. Others were wearing leather. One was wearing a saddle. A couple sheep and goats ran past them too. "In the building…" Jean blinked.

"BAAAAA!" A sheep wearing a tutu and a saddle ran by. Followed by a man dressed as Little Bo Peep.

"Never mind," Jean grumbled.

"Tabitha what kind of crazy spa is this?" Amanda asked.

"Don't tell us! I don't want to know!" Wanda snapped. "Jean let's go!"

"Put me down you little…" Emma hissed.

"Fine!" Jean telekinetically threw her outside a window.

Emma landed in the bushes. Even though she was in her diamond form she wasn't harmed, she didn't look very dignified or glamorous in the bushes. "THIS IS NOT THE LAST YOU HAVE HEARD OF ME JEAN GREY! YOU AND THE REST OF THE X-BRATS WILL PAY FOR CROSSING ME IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

"BURN BABY BURN! HA HA HA HA HA!" Samantha laughed insanely in the background.

"I can't believe this," Wanda groaned as the girls got into the SUV and drove away. "If I wanted to watch idiots set fires all day I'd have stayed back at the Brotherhood House!"

"We didn't **start** the fire!" Amara said.

"No, we're just gonna get the blame," Jean groaned.

"I don't know about you, but I could sure go for some ice cream right now," Amanda groaned.

"Well I know a place where a friend of mine…" Tabitha began.

"NO TABITHA!" Everyone shouted. "FORGET IT!"


	9. Ice Cream Meltdown

**Ice Cream Meltdown**

"And to think when I left the bozos at the Bozo House I was getting **away **from all that insanity!" Wanda snapped as the girls entered an ice cream parlor in Bayville. "Shows what I know! Except for the money I won gambling it was **exactly** the same if I hung out with the Brotherhood!"

"Well you shouldn't have been gambling in the first place!" Jean fumed. "You're underage!"

"Stuff it Jean," Wanda growled. "Go take some more hangover medication!"

"Can we please stop fighting and just get some ice cream?" Amara sighed. "I just wanna forget the last twenty four hours ever happened."

"Girlfriend you got the right idea," Tabitha said.

The ice cream store wasn't crowded but there were a few faces. In particular two cheerleaders. "Look Mindy, it's the Freak Squad," One cheerleader snorted.

"Ewww! Cindy we'd better call the health department," Mindy snickered "Skunk Hair and her skuzzy friends are spewing their mutant germs all over the place!"

"Oh great," Rogue grumbled. "Airheads at twelve o clock! I've lost my appetite."

"I can't believe those freaks are here," Cindy said.

"Yeah I mean I thought they were kicked out of school after they didn't show up for the last two days," Mindy sniffed. "I never enjoyed the final days of school in my life so much before! Eww! Jean's here! One good thing about being held back, didn't have to have any classes with her!"

"Why those little…" Tabitha growled.

"Just ignore them," Jean told her.

The two cheerleaders snickered. Rogue heard one of them say. "Skunk Freak…"

"You wanna say something? Say it to my **face!**" Rogue snapped and made a fist.

"Rogue! No! Control your temper!" Jean told her.

"You want me to control **my** temper?" Rogue snapped. "**You?** The woman who has trashed every place she's been the past **two days?"**

"Yeah Jean that is kind of hypocritical," Amanda said.

"You stay out of this!" Jean snapped.

"Or **what?"** Amanda said. "You gonna lose your temper _again?"_

"Yeah Jean get off your high horse," Wanda said. "After the past two days you're not in any position to criticize people who lose their temper. You explode more than an active volcano."

"In fact you were in a really interesting position last night," Tabitha snickered.

"What do you mean?" Jean asked.

"Let's just say that Saratoga City saw a whole different side of you that Bayville never did!" Wanda smirked. "Actually it saw a lot of different sides of you."

"What does **that **mean?" Jean yelled.

"Don't tell her Tabitha!" Rogue said. "We agreed!"

"**You** agreed," Tabitha pointed out. "Oh no wait, Wanda said for her to find out on the Internet. That's different."

"Find out **what** on the Internet?" Jean fumed.

"Tabitha you can not totally keep a secret to save your life!" Kitty fumed.

"Me? I'm not known as the Gossip Queen of the Mansion!" Tabitha yelled.

"Yeah well at least I don't flash boys in study hall and make out with them in the closet while the sub is sleeping!" Kitty shouted back.

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that!" Amanda whirled on Tabitha. "I'm still mad at you for that stunt!"

"You're mad at **me?** You don't **get** to be mad at me!" Tabitha yelled. "I did that to my boyfriend **before** he dumped me for you!"

"When **exactly** were you two going out?" Amanda yelled. "Seriously, this is news to me."

"I hope you're not counting the time you kidnapped Kurt and took off from school for an entire day!" Jean snapped. **(1) **"Because that does **not** count as a date! Especially if you had to use the Brotherhood to hold him hostage!"

"For crying out loud Red!" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "He wasn't exactly a prisoner. Nothing much was going to happen in school anyway after the botched fire drill and it wasn't for the **whole **day! It was just the afternoon! And we had a lovely lunch!"

"Where you blackmailed Kurt into stealing toilet paper from a McDonalds!" Rogue snapped.

"It was a Burger King!" Tabitha said. "Get your facts straight will you?"

"You still stole toilet paper!" Rogue said.

"So? What's your point?" Tabitha asked.

"The point is you dragged Kurt around and got him into trouble!" Kitty snapped. "Just like you got us in trouble!"

"I got **you** in trouble? How is all of this **my** fault?" Tabitha yelled.

"Oh please! Every place you told us to go we've ended up in trouble!" Rogue snapped.

"Oh it's **my fault** Jean got drunk and…" Tabitha began.

"That was **not** my fault!" Jean shouted.

"Oh shut up Jean!" Rogue and Tabitha snapped.

"You shut up!" Jean lost her temper and telekinetically threw some ice cream at them.

The girls ducked just in time and the ice cream hit Mindy and Cindy. "AAAAAH! MY NEW OUTFIT!" Mindy shrieked.

"Who knew mint chocolate chip was your color?" Tabitha smirked.

"Nice shot Jean," Rogue smiled. "Way to watch your temper!"

"Okay! That does it!" Jean snapped. "I have so had it with all of you!"

"Well the feeling is mutual!" Amanda snapped. "Especially you Tabitha you slut!"

"Who are you calling a slut you skank?" Tabitha shouted.

"Girls, stop it!" Amara pleaded. "Amanda, Tabitha was going out with Kurt before you did!"

"Oh big surprise you're on **her** side!" Amanda snapped. "Miss Nympho Princess who let a hundred guys kiss her and feel her up!"

"That was for a festival celebrating womanhood and the fertility goddess!" Amara shouted. "It was cultural! And for the record they didn't grope me! It was more like a pat and…WHY DO I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MYSELF TO YOU?"

"Yeah just because you're not getting any…" Tabitha began.

"Okay that's it!" Amanda jumped on Tabitha and the two girls began to fight. Then Amara and Kitty jumped in. Jean and Rogue tried to stop them but were more focused at shouting at each other than doing anything. The cheerleaders and what few customers there were ran out of the store screaming .

And Wanda just stood there watching it all. "And I thought the **Brotherhood** were idiots?" She groaned.

"You know if I didn't hate this dump so much I'd call the cops," One counter worker said to another.

"Yeah let 'em trash it," the other boy said. "Besides, it's really hot to watch chicks fight. Even if they are freaks!"

The girls heard that and turned their heads. "Oh you did not just say that!" Tabitha fumed. "You did **not **just say **that!"**

"Get 'em," Rogue growled.

"Uh oh…" The first guy gulped as the girls advanced.

"You thinks it's hot when girls fight huh?" Wanda used her hex powers on ice cream.

"Well it's time for you bozos to **cool off!"** Tabitha made some very large energy bombs.

BOOM! BOOM!

SPLORT!

SPLOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH!

Before the hapless boys knew it, they were covered in ice cream, sprinkles and ice cream cones. There was ice cream everywhere on the floors and ceilings. "Our manager is so not gonna be happy with this…" One groaned before he passed out.

"Well I feel better, how about you?" Wanda asked.

"Wow, I haven't seen so much ice cream everywhere since right after the Sadie Hawkins Dance," Kitty blinked. (**2)**

"We'd better get back home before someone calls the cops again," Jean sighed.

**1. See the fics ****Fire Drills Are Fun ****and ****The Wheels On the Bus Go Round And Round**

**2. Check out the fic ****After The Dance.**** They're some of my older fics but they are still just as fun! **


	10. Who Sleeps At a Sleepover Anyway?

**Who Sleeps At A Sleepover Anyway?**

"That was close!" Jamie gasped for breath as he and Hank made it into Hank's bedroom. "Is it me or for some reason those girls seem madder than they were before?"

"Definitely not you," Hank sighed as he put down his stolen supplies. "Thank goodness they were out most of the day so we could eat and relax a little. Now all we have to do is wait for the Professor to return. He and Wolverine just called my cell phone and I explained the situation. Hopefully this mess will be resolved and we can get on with our lives."

"And if they can't calm the girls down?" Jamie asked.

"Then the girls will kill them and we will get on with our lives in Canada," Hank said. "I've already got the spare image inducers and the fake IDs. We will become scientific researchers and take advantage of Canada's wonderful health care plan."

"I like my new name," Jamie smiled. "Jay Rathston. 'J Rath' to my friends! Surfer dude from California."

"And I shall be Henry Hamilton the Fifth in a long line of academic Hamiltons from Boston, Massachusetts," Hank said.

"At least we got snacks while we're waiting," Jamie said. "What's that?"

"Some kind of protein shake I suppose," Hank held up a gray shake. "I found it in the refrigerator." He took a sip and immediately his face turned purple. "Oh my…"

"Beast?" Jamie asked. Hank ran into his private bathroom and threw up. "Oh man! They're trying to poison us!"

Meanwhile downstairs it was getting late and the girls were hanging around watching television, not talking to each other. "Okay we've seen the Simpsons Movie on cable, half of the Deadliest Catch marathon…" Amara sighed. "Somehow I thought that a sleepover would be more fun than this."

"Girls seriously," Tabitha sighed. "After these past two days this female bonding thing is getting a little old."

"I agree," Wanda sighed. "I'm starting to wonder if being here is such a good idea after all!"

"Oh really?" Amanda asked. "I'm having a **blast!** Running around trying not to get killed! Retrieving drunken friends. Finding out my boyfriend made out with someone else in the study hall closet!"

"Are we going back to **that** again?" Tabitha gave her a look. "I'm telling you! Kurt had a great time! Just because the Brotherhood and Risty…Okay Mystique was…"

Then Tabitha realized something and began to laugh hysterically. "Do we want to know or should we just call for a straightjacket?" Rogue asked.

"No, no…It's just…" Tabitha snickered. "I've just remembered the conversation we had in the bathroom that day! Oh man…Looking back on it now that was really funny! See I thought Risty had a crush on Kurt and of course it was Mystique so she couldn't really say that she had a crush on her son even though nobody knew he was her son so she had to pick someone to say she had a crush on to get out of it and she picked…You just had to have been there. Trust me. It was funny!"

"Well I'm glad someone found **something** funny about the past few days here," Wanda grumbled. "You know I thought life here would be easier than at the Brotherhood but all I've seen is that here at the Institute you just have more expensive stuff to wreck!"

"If you have such a problem with us why don't you go back to the Brotherhood?" Kitty folded her arms.

"Maybe I will!" Wanda snapped. "After I kick out your idiot boys! The only reason I came here was that I thought that I would find some sanity here and get into a lot less trouble! So much for that theory!"

"Yeah, yeah we're all idiots except you!" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Change the record already!"

"Look guys maybe we should go apologize to the boys and have them come back home?" Kitty asked. "Then maybe things can go back to normal around here? Or as close to normal as it is ever gonna get for us."

"I agree," Amara said. "My inner rage is gone now. I think the boys have been punished enough. I mean can you imagine spending a few nights with the Brotherhood? No offense Wanda."

"None taken," Wanda agreed.

"I mean you know they're not having a good time over there," Kitty said.

"Maybe we should let them off the hook?" Rogue agreed. "We made our point."

"All right, we'll go talk to them in the morning," Jean sighed.

"Yeah and I'll definitely talk to Kurt about his past experiences in study hall!" Amanda grumbled.

"Oh please! It's not like it's a big secret! Kurt told Scott all about me and the study hall closet," Tabitha said. "I know that because Pietro spied on them in the locker room where they talked about it."

"Say what?" Amanda gave her a look.

"Wait Scott knew all about it and didn't tell **me?**" Jean was shocked.

"Well maybe because Scott can keep a secret?" Kitty asked.

"Who do you think told Bobby?" Tabitha gave her a look.

"The guys all knew about this?" Wanda was stunned.

"Of course they did," Tabitha said. "The Brotherhood learned about it from the X-Boys. Just I learned about the first make out session you and Scott had in the laundry room."

"The laundry room!" Everyone shouted.

"You told me it was your bedroom!" Rogue shouted.

"Okay I lied! I was embarrased! Deal with it!" Jean snapped.

"Please tell me it was not on top of dryer number seven," Rogue asked. Jean blushed. "Great! I'll never do my sheets again!"

"That's nothing," Tabitha said. "You wouldn't believe the stuff the guys talk about! I know this because Pietro is an incurable gossip! He'll tell anyone, anything at anytime! And Todd too."

"I don't know why you're shocked," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Guys talk about their girlfriends all the time. Trust me, I've absorbed enough perverts' minds to know!"

"So that means Kurt really **was** going out with you at the time!" Amanda realized. "Why that lying…"

"He might end up following that stupid cartoon and try and go out with Wanda!" Tabitha remarked.

"Now that I think about it he did say your character looked hot," Kitty looked at Wanda.

"And I know all those guys really liked Wanda's costume as well as that Emma Frost," Rogue growled. "Practically drooling all over the keyboard!"

"You know something? I think we should go and have a **talk** with the boys," Wanda growled.

"It's almost three in the morning!" Jean said.

"All the better to catch them," Wanda admitted.

"Yeah I've got my inner rage back," Amara said.

"Oh what the hell? I'm wound up and we've got nothing better to do," Rogue agreed. "Drag their butts back here so we can kick them again!"

"Good idea! Let's get 'em!" Kitty shouted. The girls stormed out of the building and drove off in the SUV.

They didn't notice a trio standing outside the door watching them run out and scream for blood. "Go away for a few days and all hell breaks loose," Logan grunted.

"Oh dear," Xavier sighed. "This could be a problem."

"Charles why do I have the feeling this time **you're** to blame for whatever insanity is going on?" Magneto sighed.


End file.
